The Cats from my Grey & Broken Place – the dormitory of despair
Little Mom: My second cat and the sun’s handmaid
During that period when I was taken away by grief to such a far off island, that there seemed to be no returning, when something pitiless had stolen the sun itself away from me, I met the second cat. She was sent by some mysterious grace, to return the sun to my harrowing hut of blackened time.
After the first cat pulled me out of my hole of grim human grudges and shocks, I went out for another long walk around my island of small, shuttered, slow, stumbling places. I was in a tiny lane full of old, dilapidated homes and a large ancient building and in its porch crammed with old trashy furniture, a fridge, an oven, kitchen vessels and other trash, I saw a ginger and white cat, a tiny one, lying under the sun, nursing four kittens! She was looking up at the sun as it gleamed down on her and her brood. I watched the little family and looked up at the sun for the first time after months of hiding in the dreary dormitory of doom. It was the brightest, most heavenly slice of sunshine that had dipped into my despair and I was startled out of my quiet gloom and warmly welcomed to share it with that tiny mother cat! I named her Little Mom!
Little Mom gazed at me as I pulled out my Sony. She was not fazed. All the stray cats I met in that island of my devastation, were not scared of anything or anybody, except of course goons or thugs who kicked at them or hurt them. Most people let them be and I often began to come upon cats sitting calmly on steps, ledges, walls and looking out at the world calmly.
This Little Mom began to lure me to her alcove where she fed her kittens daily and played endlessly with them. The food I began to bring her, was very welcome because she was always hungry and always in need of sustenance.
Three kittens were ginger and white and one was pure orange. He was the smallest of the lot.
Little Mom sneaked into my dark, dolorous time like a servant from the sun itself! Even as I still tried to dive inside my den of despair, there would be Little Mom raising my face up to the sun, as she played adoringly with her brood. It was difficult not to start falling into her small, solitary life made up only of innocence. All she could think of was feeding her kittens and adoring them. I have never seen a mum so obsessed with her babies. No matter how much food I took for all of them, she never ate till her babies had been fed. If I ordered her to eat as well she only blinked at me. She sat nearby and watched them eat and play.
Every day Little Mom and her kittens lured me into the sun’s powerful energy and the golden glow of tenderness. For every bowl of food I took for them, they fed me the richer, costlier, golden feast of trust, tenderness and peace.In that quiet lane inside that old, rambling, crumbling sanctuary of my revival, Little Mom seemed to be waiting just for me so she could wrap me up with the warmth of the sun. She was a young mother, too young to be a mom, and looked thin and in need of sustenance. But I hardly ever saw her eat the food I took for her. Instead it was she who fed me soup she stole from the sun to warm my frozen soul!