when drowning, develop a Philodendron Heart

When you are drowning, try and develop a Philodendron Heart

a philodendron heart can save you!


Cat-gardening Chronicles

If you have been robbed blind by thugs or been sewn up in a tight bag of bitter hurt and belittling, and wronged almost to death, you could try making yourself that philodendron heart.

The reason it works is that the philodendron has the hardest, toughest, strongest, fiercest heart of any plant you can buy.  This gorgeous beauty with heart shaped bronze and golden leaves, often a dark dizzying bronze and green, is so hardy it will survive your neglect, laziness, exhaustion, even lack of water (though this plant is a drinker and needs watering twice a day). But the philodendron will forgive you even this, and survive the iciest winter, the blackest drought, the bitterest summer of malice, mischief and malignancy.


This heart is not easy to create or own. But once you watch its hardiness and learn its mysterious magic of making happiness out of nothing, or even out of woe and its pitiless wounding, you will profit from it immensely.


So how this works is that when you wake up to a morning of acute grief,  a heart that has been eaten away by malice meaner than a skunk, and you want to lie in bed staring up at the ceiling, a philodendron heart will put out the smallest seeds you never even knew your heart had stored away for days that have been attacked by emptiness. So you wake up and make that very hot coffee your friend Beulah had loved so much, at book fairs, where you pounced on a favourite treasure, a book of  Rohinton Mistry that you hadn’t yet read, and grabbed it up, and then bought that large mug of her precious brew! So she slurped it up and began to hunt again for cat poetry, cat stories, cat anything!


Then this serene shaped leaf of the philodendron will remind you to eat something, anything, and you will go for the easiest home cooked treat – garlic bread with lots of butter and cheese! And as you eat, you will watch The Servant on Apple TV! For once Shyamalan has done something interesting again after The Sixth Sense! But before that The  Morning Show is sure to grip you and keep you engrossed even above the hole inside you. Then you must get Wildlife, a rare, intelligent, engrossing movie about a crumbling marriage, exquisitely acted. Apple TV is

renting it and selling it.


The philodendron heart just does not wither or whine. It keeps going inside dark, dingy, drooling places of desperation and futility. It waits for the sun even when the sun (unbelievable but true) decides to be mean and never turns up. It decides to go and shine upon your foes! In the dank debris of faith lost and crumbling, the philodendron will shine, its heart shaped leaves glimmering in the darkening like that maths teacher in school who never gave up on you and finally after many months of extra lessons, made you get through your maths exams with fairly good marks!


Even in your composting, when one of the large pots has finally turned almost into fresh new soil the philodendron cutting you greedily put inside that somewhat squishy almost ready soil, will begin to put out new ones for you eagerly, anxiously, wanting only to please your greedy heart! But you must not let your cats get hold of it as it is not safe for them. Or for us, if we decide to eat it.


With so many unasked for gifts of tenderness, from the philodendron, you are slowly beginning to acquire for yourself the Philodendron Heart, which starts to grow and bloom only  inside the bitter harrowing country of futility, where all is lost and floundering! Everything gone, except for your new heart with its heart shaped leaves and a jewel of inner wealth that can’t be bought anywhere else! It hides inside your philodendron! I had bought my own, for twenty rupees from an old people’s home twenty years ago. Then I had forgotten all about it as it grew against the wall of my house, waiting for me to water it! Through years of neglect, ignoring, forgetting, remembering etc. and 10001 changes of fortune and famine and wars and wonders, it survived just for me so I could survive as well!



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