I was a cat-gardener till now but am soon planning to become a purring Psychic. You want to know why?
Well first of all cat-gardening pays me peanuts! And I am not allowed to decimate the catnip patch nor am I allowed to drink up all the water from the water lettuce. I am not even allowed a small nap now and then because it often alas turns out to be the biggest nap of the day! And if I even look at the Spider Plant, my favourite salad I am banned from the garden. This job sucks!
Being a purring Psychic on the other hand has a 100 benefits! I can do readings on the phone by charging upto a 100 dollars per hour, and even upto 700 dollars for the same!
As there are enough knuckle heads, idiots, morons, stupid crackpots all over the world, who believe in Psychics I am onto a good thing. But if I want to become a psychic before a live audience and on stage, imitating John Edward or Theresa Caputo with those amazing glittering gold curls, I will have to first of all learn the full alphabet! Or else how can I say to my moronic audience that I am visited by a dead family member with the letter “h” or “K’ calling?!!!
Then to dress up my fur like a golden ball of fluff and to twitter and simper like a silly clown does not sound like much fun! But then, the pounds and the dollars and the rupees that all those mutts will churn out for my readings, why not give it a try? Anyone out there willing to teach me the alphabet for one pound?!! Get in touch! But only when I am awake!