In the event of your needing to immediately kill yourself
Because there is absolutely no way out of the pit or hole!
By poison, hanging, drowning, cutting your throat etc.
Consider this: before you begin the bad beheading of
Yourself or the crushing of your breath, first talk to your
Garden for the very last time! How can you forget that friend
Which put a dash of color and scent inside each and every
Ghastly or fairly happy day? And listened to your silent whines
Even tolerated your cats beheading the begonias and eating them?
So check out the garden before slitting off your throat or fatally
Fouling your food: first deadhead the darned roses that will
Not survive without their double drink of water, and they can’t be
Bothered about your bruises or your boils or your battered heart!
It wasn’t their fault that the mountain of mess fell down upon you!
And as you are at it, don’t forget to water the zinnias and the celosias
They too are water guzzlers and pay up their dues with floral clocks
Before you mangle and mutilate yourself just remember your dues to
Those darling polka dots, the green and white, pink and white and
red and white reliable angels that sprang up like ballerinas in your
friend’s balcony when she was reeling with the rubble of her young
daughter’s murder by the hands of her jealous husband, the lost child etc.
so water the entire family of your polka dots, as they too drink up
very greedily and yet manage to grow for you even when you forget
this reminds us of your philodendrons (which are dangerous for your cats)
but which will tenderly, adoringly grow anywhere and everywhere, even
and especially inside kettles, mugs, jugs, whisky bottles, and plain water!
They will put out their brown and bronze and golden hearts for you alone
Even if you forget to give them their water for more than five days!
And then finally, don’t forget your cats either! Remember to thank them
For their shockingly immense generosity for not having died at the hands of
your massive stock Of philodendrons, as only recently you have learnt
That this plant should be kept away from felines! Without you warning them,
The cats kept away from philodendrons, ivies, azaleas, holly, geraniums,
Mistletoe, morning glories, impatiens poinsettia, oleanders and more!
They lived on to purr for you and show you better sleepier uses for
Your best handbag, your laptop, your microwave, your dresses, books etc!
And after you have dealt with all these chores, you can go back to what you
Were planning to do, but can you remember now, what exactly this was?!!
pics and text: daksha